Eddie Long’s Death was confirmed yesterday, and I spent a lot of time actually combating people, who are in my communities, online about predatory behavior and victim blaming. And that scares me that it was an actual debate.
Eddie Long and the Defense of Predatory Behavior
…we blame the child for being “fast” or “grown” or for “letting” it happen to them and being “old enough to know better.” No balm offered, just “Suck it up. It happened to all of us. Next time, you’ll keep your damn legs closed!”
– The Son of Baldwin (2017)
There isn’t an excuse for inappropriate behavior. Whether a person is 18 or 12, they can be taken advantage of by a person with more power than them. In fact, the law understands this so much that we have age of consent laws to protect those who cannot protect themselves and I guess we feel that 18 (16 in my state) is an OK age to consent. But even then I feel they require protection, but that’s my opinion
Nonetheless, I remember growing up, and finding out that teen girls would get impregnated by adult men regularly. I know some girls who were 12, 13, and 14 years old when they were impregnated by 30 year old men. But the blame was always on the them. The child who had only existed on the planet for 12 or so years.
Yet, when it comes to women who are adults that are impregnated by men on the downlow or by men who go to jail, they get sympathy and compassion. I never got that double standard. These are both victims. However, they are victims in different ways. One being more gratuitous in my opinion.
As well, those men who preyed on children, like Eddie Long allegedly did, are welcomed into spaces like the church with open arms. While the open lesbian woman, who has never hurt anyone in the church, can’t participate in the musical ministry or be active in the church in anyway. In fact, she is kicked out the church. And the same goes for the child who was impregnated by the adult. Also in fact, sometimes the child would have to go up and apologize in front of the ENTIRE church for “getting” pregnant. I never understood those double standards either.
Victim Blaming & White Knighting
We have to stop blaming the actions of pedophiles and predators on the victims. A grown man should not be attracted to any minor in our day and age. There shouldn’t be anything a minor should be able to do for them. And I don’t care if they do come on to them if that is even possible.
I have seen many church members, few in the gay community, and a slew of men across the board blame the four young men for the alleged predatory behavior of Eddie Long. They have been called manipulative and conniving. And my response to that is that if they are that way, then why is someone so in touch with God not able to recognize that. Where was Eddie Long’s spirit of discernment? Better yet, where was his willingness to help these young men when they felt dejected because they felt that they were used by him. Even had he not done anything wrong, where was his repentance about this entire situation. Also, even if these young men were Satan in the flesh, THEY STILL DESERVED PROTECTION AND CLOSURE.
There is a lot of white knighting or should I say black knighting going on regarding the tarnished legacy of Eddie Long. As I heard yesterday in a brilliant video, Eddie Long’s tarnished reputation is caused by his own undoing. And nobody can blame the four young men, the black community, the media, or any of us bloggers and social commentators for the nonsense that went on and is going on regarding Eddie Long. No one is condemning what has not already been condemned by him. His legacy is what it is and I can not add or take away from it. I can observe and give my point of view.
And it is not about whether other white institutions, like the Catholic Church, did this and hid this. I am focusing on Eddie Long and the Black Church. This is a common pattern and behavior seen in the Black Church that directly affects me. And that needs to be fixed! Fuck the bullshit about him being black, because his victims are black!!!
And I will be damned if I let anyone tell me that it was those four BLACK young men’s or any TEENAGER’S OR CHILD’S fault that they got molested or raped. As a child rape survivor, I will be damned if I let that happen. I felt guilty for years because I thought I was genuinely attracted to my child rapist and because I flirted with him, I felt that I deserved what he did to me. It took me a long time as a teenager to realize that it was NOT my fault that anyone raped me.
Some of you sons of bitches are sick as fuck for defending this bastard’s alleged behavior and defending those like him. And there is a special place in Hell for you in this world or the next. Fuck you and the lot of you that feel that it is any child’s or any victim’s fault for anything that they’ve been through regarding sexual abuse.
Fuck you from cmortalx.
References and What to Read
Son of Baldwin. 2017. Bishop Eddie Long Is Not the Only One Who’s Dead.
Retrieved from https://medium.com/@SonofBaldwin/bishop-eddie-long-is-dead-c6021e55ac9b#.8b10sgq5r